Duty, Nothing More
by PhantomDaae1981
Summary: Javert’s thoughts after Valjean frees him from the students at the barricade, leading up to Javert’s suicide. Not slash, believe it or not.


"_**Duty, Nothing More**__**," a story by PhantomDaae1981.**_

**Summary: **Javert's thoughts after Valjean frees him from the students at the barricade, leading up to Javert's suicide. Not slash, believe it or not.

**Author's Note: **I wrote this while envisioning Philip Quast from _Les Miserables In Concert, _so this is definitely based on Musical Javert, but feel free to think of your own favorite actor while reading. Enjoy! Please review:-)

* * *

I had never fallen for the excuses of criminals.

When Valjean's whore, like so many before her, had claimed she was supporting a dying daughter, I didn't believe her.

Criminals were _liars, _and they certainly were _incapable _of selflessness.

But, then, there was Valjean.

The _ultimate _criminal. Truly without remorse for his crimes, unable to accept responsibility for what he'd done.

Yet, he had _released _me, freed me from the lawless hands of rebel students. And, when I warned him that I would not stop hunting him, that I would never rest until he was once more behind bars... _He saved my life anyway._

Surely, that was selflessness!

Selflessness, from a man I'd pursued for decades... I'd had no mercy for 24601, because I was so convinced of his utter immorality and self-centeredness.

Now, things were blurring. The world, which had always been black or white, was turning shades of gray. I had no idea what to do with my new eyes, and I was truly terrified.

Valjean had said that I'd done my "duty, nothing more."

But that was not entirely true. I had been motivated by something far deeper, yet I had no idea what it was.

* * *

Desperate, I returned to the barricade. As predicted, the rebel students were all dead.

But I did not see Valjean anywhere.

This meant I would have to look for him at 55 Rue Plumet, as he had instructed.

Then, I noticed the sewer grate. If anyone had escaped this carnage alive, _that _would certainly be the method of escape.

After some effort, I managed to lift the heavy iron. I jumped down into the stink of the sewers.

* * *

It was only a short time before I found Valjean. He was making his way through the sewers with an unconscious over his back.

Despite Valjean's protestations, the fact remained that the student across his back was anything but innocent.

And, truth be told, I _could _have made such an argument.

But I didn't.

Instead, I let Valjean go, with a warning that I would be waiting for him.

Yet, I knew that this was not the truth.

* * *

I could think of nothing but the fact that prisoner 24601 had let me go, when he should have killed me. Wandering _almost _aimlessly, I found myself on the bridge over the river Seine.

I thought again of Valjean's words. He had said that he blamed me for nothing, that I'd done my "duty, nothing more."

And, as I'd realized before, his words were completely untrue.

I had not pursued prisoner 24601 merely for the sake of duty.

I had pursued him because it had been impossible for me to believe he could be motivated by any sort of unselfish feeling.

And, even more, I had pursued him because _I myself _was unable to feel sympathy.

For so long, I had viewed criminals, especially Jean Valjean, as sociopaths. But, the truth was, Valjean _did _care about others, while it was _me _who had been incapable of sympathy.

Perhaps certain criminals cared nothing for their victims. But _I_ had cared nothing for any criminal, not even those such as 24601, who clearly _did_ care for people beside themselves.

This entire world, right versus wrong, meant _nothing. _The values I had lived by for so damned long were convoluted and meaningless.

I had never felt so lost in all of my life.

Papa, why did you lie to me?

* * *

It wasn't my papa's lies, of course. It was my own sanctimonious idiocy which was doing me in.

I had pretended to be a good man for so long, but the truth was, I was simply following meaningless rules.

If it hadn't been for these Rules, I almost certainly would have become a most heinous criminal, myself.

Because, now, I knew the Truth.

I was the worst sociopath of all. I blindly followed rules, blindly pursued men who were basically innocent, because _I _was the one incapable of any sort of sympathy.

Not only had I based my life on a lie, but I also had no idea who the hell I really was.

The name _Javert _meant nothing at all.

* * *

If I had never actually existed, would it really matter if I jumped into the river Seine?

Somehow, I knew that Valjean had spoken with sincerity. I knew that he was not trying to trick me, that he had no intention of killing me.

And, yet, I longed for him to kill me. Because then, at least, he would be a Bad Man, like I had envisioned.

But the truth was so much more complex, and I didn't know what to do with this new knowledge. I had nothing left to fight for.

I had no idea what I was doing, but the fact was, it didn't matter. I simply could not tolerate the jumble in my head. I dared not come to terms with the fact that Jean Valjean was a man capable of empathy, while _I _was a mere machine.

Lost, so lost.

But none of it mattered, not anymore.

I had never been so alone in all of my life.

As always, my thoughts stayed focused upon a narrow-minded goal.

I threw my legs over the rails. sending my aging body into the waters below.


End file.
